Transcript - Season 1 Recap

SFX: CHEERFUL, FAST-PACED VIOLIN MUSIC.

 

JON:

The Silt Verses Season 2 launches tomorrow - Monday 21st March 2022 - returning our listeners to a world of strange gods and horrific sacrifice.

 

And if like our cast and crew, you live your life in a miasma of confusion, terror, and uncertainty you may be struggling to remember exactly what happened in Season 1 all those long months ago.

 

That's why we contacted a few of our Season 1 voice actors and asked them if they could remember for us.

 

Please enjoy the highly accurate and in no way subjective Silt Verses Season One recap.

 

SFX: BELL.

 

JON:

Episode One.

 

MÉABH:

What is the most important thing you need to know about Episode One? 

 

Carpenter has some amazing pancakes and a really nice cappuccino. That is really the core scene of the whole episode - it's the most important and possibly the defining scene of the entire series.

 

Will Carpenter get pancakes again? Will she get another cappuccino? We just don't know and we're left to wonder.

 

B.:

So Carpenter and Faulkner are on a pilgrimage for their illegal river god, the Trawler-man, who they worship with varying degrees of enthusiasm. They're looking for other disciples of their faith and they hate each other's guts. Absolutely hate each other.

 

MÉABH:

The scene opens in classic detective style, with Carpenter expertly examining a dead body while Faulkner looks on in awe at her super super skills.

 

Carpenter’s a little bit tired, you know? She’s like, tired today.

 

B.:

Faulkner is way too enthusiastic about this trip and Carpenter is tired. She is so tired of him.

 

MÉABH:

We get the vibe that she might be tired every day. She's a little bit world-weary. 

 

She grew up in the cult of the Trawler-man, was raised by her grandmother Nana Glass who was ultimately killed by agents of the law. And her brother Em died in prison, in what can only be described as an incredibly baller scene that you will just have to listen to.

 

So Carpenter's been working for the faith for a long time, she's basically an OG MVP, and now she's stuck with Faulkner who can be described as an over-eager puppy.

 

…and there's definitely no more to him than that.

 

B.:

But he also secretly wants to murder her, like he semi-accidentally on-purpose sacrificed his older brother to the Trawler-man as a kid.

 

MÉABH:

Boy has less hinges than a hole in the ground.

 

B.:

And while they're road tripping and hating each other, they get to see a horrible flesh boat. 

 

Faulkner loves this.

 

MÉABH:

Carpenter's reaction is a little bit more along the lines of…”Uh, great! Yeah, no. I definitely wanted this to happen. This is so good and I'm glad about this.”

 

JON:

Episode Two.

 

MÉABH:

In Episode Two, Mason - Carpenter’s handler and overall affection-withholding passive-aggressive figure of authority, sends the pair to investigate a local bookshop owned by Peterson, who worships another illegal god, the Waxen Scrivener.

 

This entire encounter ends with what can only be described as the world’s worst imagining of a bookworm.

 

B.:

Faulkner does not love this.

 

SFX: BELL.

 

JON:

Episode Three.

 

MÉABH:

I don't know, Carpenter's not in this one. 

 

But we are introduced to a new character - Investigating Officer Hayward.

 

JIMMIE:

(As HAYWARD)

I'm Hayward, Investigating Officer for the Greater Glottage police force. I specialize in religious homicide.

 

So they sent me out to this podunk farm in the middle of nowhere to go check on a bunch of missing hikers. And, uh, when I get there there's this guy who…um, let's just say he probably hadn't showered in a a day or two.

 

And I get to find out why. It turns out that he'd been super busy. 

 

Yeah, it turns out that there's this god of hunger that he had in the middle of his field, and in order to feed said god of hunger, he was feeding them rabbits that he was mass breeding and chaining to the walls.

 

This is my Tuesday.

 

SFX: BELL.

 

JON:

Episode Four.

 

MÉABH:

Episode Four! Everybody's favorite. Carpenter is very much in this one.

 

She heads out into the woods in search of further signs of the Trawler-man and encounters a bickering romantic pair, Charity and Gareth. Gareth being just the worst.

 

It ends with the group being pursued by twisted dog-creatures, and it ends with Carpenter standing on a burning house, in an attempt to destroy the god that Charity has lured them all there to feed.

 

Carpenter burns her copy of the Silt Verses and uses it to set the house alight. Faulkner does a great job here - he drives out to rescue Carpenter. Although she does take a vicious leg wound from Charity in the process.

 

SFX: BELL.

 

JON:

Episode Five.

 

MÉABH:

Carpenter is back to being just very very tired.

 

She's very tired and now she has a massive gaping hole in her leg.

 

So what does she do? She goes out and she has…yes it's another cappuccino.

 

But unfortunately, this cappuccino comes with a caveat, and she's forced to sit there and listen to a cop monologue about his divorce.

 

JIMMIE:

-I just stopped into a diner, because I’d just been driving and I’m tired-

 

MÉABH:

Problem being, Carpenter doesn't know he's a cop. It is indeed Hayward. 

 

In a delicious piece of dramatic irony, we are aware that this outlaw and this cop are sharing..well, I’d call it a conversation but once again it is predominantly a monologue.

 

JIMMIE:

-Uhhh, I, I, may have i may have rambled on a bit-

 

MÉABH:

While all that is happening, Faulkner has discovered that the owner of the motel they're staying in - Stanton - knows who they are.

 

Remember the hallowing of poor innocent people we talked about earlier, to make them horrendous horrific saints? 

 

That happens here. Big time.

 

B.:

Faulkner turns a motel owner into a shrimp saint!

 

MÉABH:

Faulkner, we see, is also a little bit like, “Uh, yes. No. Good. This is what I wanted to happen. Definitely, for sure.”

 

He flees the scene of the crime, catches up with Carpenter, and unfortunately they are both stopped by Hayward.

 

JIMMIE:

Lo and behold, I happen to find them down by the river in a van. Definitely not looking shady at all.

 

So I approach them and casually, but not so casually, needle them a bit. And, uh, they stick with that bird-watching story…and then we both go our own ways.

 

SFX: BELL.

 

JON:

Episode Six-

 

FAULKNER:

And so they have to run from the cops- 

 

SFX: BELL.

 

JON:

Episode Seven.

 

MÉABH:

We meet Paige, everybody's favorite marketing manager. She works with a company, an agency that creates and rebrands gods. 

 

Unfortunately Paige discovers that the agency itself is planning on a rebrand, a process which will involve a large amount of sacrifice. One of these sacrifices ends up being Paige's own mentor vaughn.

 

Vaughan also happens to be a good friend of Carpenter’s from her teenage years.

 

Devastated and guilty, Paige flees, driving across the border to the Peninsula, trying to escape from her life…and ends up being carjacked by Carpenter and Faulkner.

 

SFX: BELL.

 

JON:

Episode Eight.

 

B.:

Paige, bless her heart, tries to mediate their bickering and has to go on the adventure with them as a hostage/friend.

 

MÉABH:

They arrive at the abandoned house of Roake, a sculptor and worshiper of the Trawler-man who was driven out of Marcel's Crossing, and they investigate.

 

They find a tape of Roake's message and confession, and then realize that they are actually standing in a trap.

 

B.:

And together they get attacked by his big guard-dog spider-crab angel, and Faulkner tries to talk to it like a puppy.

 

And it does punt him, and he gets hurt very bad. 

 

MÉABH:

Carpenter and Paige drag him to the car and the three best friends that there ever ever was…flee the scene.

 

SFX: BELL.

 

JON:

Episode nine!

 

MÉABH:

More cop stuff.

 

JIMMIE:

(As Hayward)

I'm in a boat with a giant shrimp. And so what do you do? You talk at the shrimp, because all you get back is (shrimp noises).

 

It wasn't a very good conversationalist.

 

And then I find out I’m getting a new partner - Daggler. He's an older guy with a bad attitude. Even worse morals. Just so long as the job gets done, it doesn't matter.

 

Great.

 

SFX: BELL.

 

JON:

Episode Ten.

 

MÉABH:

Carpenter, Paige and a wounded and unconscious Faulkner take refuge in an abandoned call center. And anyone who has worked in a call center knows that that is definitely one of the circles of hell.

 

instead of getting a nice bit of respite, they are actually instead attacked by the creature living in the vents that worships the phone god Babble.

 

Faulkner almost gets his ears ripped off, but, uh, Paige uses Carpenter's gun - which she took without permission - and actually gets a shot off at the thing.

 

SFX: BELL.

 

JON:

Episode Eleven.

 

MÉABH:

Faulkner is not doing too hot.

 

B.:

And Carpenter and Paige have to do a little escort mission to make sure he doesn't die.

 

Uh, which is very nice of them, all things considering.

 

But don't worry - he doesn't die, because he gets healed by a man who lives in a dump. So it's fine.

 

SFX: BELL.

 

JON:

Episode Twelve.

 

MÉABH:

What is any road trip with your best best buddies if you don't stop to eat some greasy food?

 

B.:

They go out to eat at the scariest restaurant imaginable and realize it's a Trawler-man holiday! 

 

So Carpenter tries to make this like a big old family meal - because Trawler-man holiday - but like most family meals it turns into a political argument between her and Paige.

 

And Faulkner is terrible at mediating, unlike Paige. So it doesn't end well, and Paige decides to dip on the worst hostage takers in the world.

 

MÉABH:

The episode ends with Paige leaving the pair and Carpenter and Faulkner sharing a moment on the river. 

 

She realizes her faith is failing and she no longer resents Faulkner - in fact she's jealous of the certainty he has, and she wonders who she is going to be without her faith in the Trawler-man.

 

SFX: BELL.

 

JON:

Episode Thirteen.

 

MÉABH:

Carpenter and Faulkner arrive at Bellwethers, which has been destroyed. The police were here, they've left off tape and everything, but, uh, they clearly took one look around and went “nope!” and left it.

 

Uh, it has been turned into a watery, crustacean monstrosity of a town.

 

B.:

Of course Faulkner loves it! He loves it so much. This is Disneyland. 

 

And while they're there, they discover the return-to-crab nuke, the Wither Mark, which he loves even more. 

 

MÉABH:

It has been destroyed particularly by the Wither Mark, which is an Armageddon symbol of the Trawler-man that Roake has set off in the center of town.

 

B.:

Carpenter, like a reasonable person, tries to convince him that no one needs this nuke - much less anyone they know.

 

And he of course disagrees because he very much likes the idea of a crab nuke, thank you.

 

And so they scuffle. He wins because she's hurt, and he leaves her to get arrested by the cops that have been chasing them.

 

JIMMIE:

(As HAYWARD)

So Daggler and I get to this scene, and I'm like, “we're gonna arrest you!” and Daggler's like, “No, let's just kill her.”

 

What have i gotten into? Now I gotta deal with this psychopath that wants to just murder our key suspect.

 

And, uh, then our suspect's friend comes out. Covered in mud and symbols…and a gigantic hermit crab monster cuts Daggler in half.

 

MÉABH:

That’s what comeuppance is, bitch! 

 

Hayward grabs Carpenter and flees the town as more police cars converge.

 

Meanwhile we return to Paige, who's attempting to cross the border to get back to her nice city life, and she realizes something very strange is happening.

 

This whole time we've been getting radio broadcasts from Sid Wright the sleepless disc jockey…and now it looks like he has in fact become the prophet of a new god of sleep.

 

He uses his powers and the radio station to send people to sleep across the Peninsula.

 

SFX: BELL.

 

JON:

Episode Fourteen.

 

MÉABH: 

Faulkner doesn't quite have a crisis of faith uh it's more of a crisis of the people that he was meant to rely on.

 

Mason, in classic Mason style, just gets the information off him and then hangs up - leaving him to deal with the police in pursuit.

 

B.:

Faulkner pretty much gets abandoned by everyone he cares about, scares his only living brother with the most cryptic phone call possible…and decides to set off the crab nuke.

 

For the drama.

 

MÉABH:

But more importantly, and the most important thing of all, is that while Carpenter is being interrogated by Hayward, she gets another coffee.

 

JIMMIE:

(As HAYWARD): 

I did learn that her name is Carpenter. Uh, so I guess that's a small win.

 

And I’m trying to convince Carpenter that it would be in her best interest to side with us, because you know, charges can be a little bit less - uh, especially if we can capture, uh, Captain Summon-A-Crab.

 

MÉABH:

She also goads Hayward a fair bit, because his buttons are incredibly easy to push.

 

When Hayward has just about enough of her…well, turns out he can't do anything about it, because the entire police station staff has been sent to sleep by Sid Wright's radio signals.

 

I grab our suspect and radio in for help, and go outside to meet said help…

 

…and it turns out that said help is just more crab people.

 

And I get locked up right outside the station, and no one's waking up and I scream bloody vengeance upon both of them as they drive away into the proverbial sunset.

 

SFX: BELL.

 

JON:

Episode Fifteen.

 

MÉABH:

The last episode of the season, and once again I really just love everything we learn about Carpenter here.

 

We have a gorgeous flashback to when she was a child, and learn how her grandmother almost sacrificed her to the Trawler-man.

 

She decides that only she can go and confront Faulkner, and, uh, you know…picks up a piece of glass on the way.

 

To stab him with that.

 

B.:

Carpenter realizes he's not doing anything but moping in a dodgem ring, so she doesn't have to kill him.

 

And they have a nice little heart to heart, and then they realize the cops are - as always - headed their way.

 

MÉABH:

And then Faulkner reveals that, uh, he called the police. And nobody has a gun.

 

Carpenter just about snaps here. She starts absolutely cackling.

 

She tells Faulkner to get up and to pray, while she absolutely rips into the Trawler-man.

 

She - as the kids say - puts the Trawler-man on blast.

 

And wouldn't you know it? The pair of them provoke the Trawler-man into action, sending a massive tsunami that either drowns them or bears them both away.

 

JIMMIE:

(As HAYWARD)

I take…13% responsibility for the destruction of an entire town being flooded by shrimp monsters. I may have antagonized a little bit.

 

But, in my defense, I was trying to…not flood the town with molluscs.

 

MÉABH:

And we think that that’s the end.

 

But later Carpenter wakes up in the shallows of the delta downriver.

 

She’s half-drowned. She screams for Faulkner - there’s no reply.

 

She starts trudging along the road and soon realises that she is being followed by a strange whispering figure that keeps growing closer and closer.

 

She finds an abandoned car and she lies down in it, saying that she’ll wait for the figure to catch up.

 

She accepts whatever’s coming for her - and then it does.

 

SFX: BELL.

 

JON:

That was The Silt Verses, Season 1.

 

…kinda.

 

We’ll see you in Season 2.